Spoon's tour review 1998
The infamous group of New Age travellers known as the "spoons" invaded the poor unsuspecting community of Treaddur Bay, Anglesey, North Wales. On the evening of Thursday 21st May the group sent forward an undercover reconnaissance group to set up their headquarters at the 'Lynn Rhos Camping Park' to the South of the bay.
On Saturday 23rd vehicle by vehicle they arrived cleverly surrounding the village without the locals even noticing, many headed straight for their headquarters where a camp was set up but others were accommodating holiday bungalows some to the north and some central to the village.
It was not until that evening when the group held their opening meeting in the local public house that the community learnt the truth about what had come to them.
The local parents were forced to lock away their children after reports of group members speeding around the streets on their mountain bikes performing characteristic acts of stupidity such as throwing themselves off their bikes and tarmac sliding at speed to impress their on looking comrades (Nick).
On the second day of the invasion the wife of the groups leader Mr Vic Spoons was seen terrifying the local wildlife with her anti-mosquito, glow in the dark leg garment (Sylvia) which only she can wear.
The third day saw other acts of lunacy such as the rolling in the water left on the toilet floors in the hours of darkness and the wearing of cow pats as footwear whilst roaming the surrounding countryside (Sue L). Experts believe theses show the signs of a team member with ambitions to climb up the ranks within the group.
On the fourth day it was the once popular tourist town of Caenarfon, which saw a breakaway invasion from the groups 'undercover shop spotting regiment'. Who rushed around as many shops as possible within a given time and mark their visit by head butting the shop window (Claire K) and petrifying the owners and the public inside.
On the fifth day our agents reported that there might be unrest within the ranks after a very sacred trophy was broken (Claire K) during the drunken frenzy after failing to win the local pub quiz.
On the sixth day the community awoke to a calm not witnessed for many days. Had they gone? later that day the news had reached the village of a dawn raid by sea over the Irish sea to Dublin. The group was seen to partake in their ritual, which is believed to be called "Taking on the Guinness". An employee of the 'Dublin area rapid transport' or DCART is expected out of the local hospital after suffering severe shock after treats were made by a group member (Andy). The member spoke the dreaded words "I am with Neil" which is enough to scare the hardest of men.
On the seventh day it was time for their leader to show his hand and demonstrate his superiority in the art of being a SPOON. His understudies handed him the task of photographing the group's own underwater lookout team on their return to base. He would not let down his followers; he managed to take photographs with the help of his ever-loyal daughter of just about every diver other than the two they required.
The eighth day saw the bulk of the group disperse in many directions. This occurred only after the all-important crowing ceremony has taken place believed to reward the member showing the greatest promise over the period. A red haird female (Claire K) displayed great emotion after being announced as the winner and honoured with the covered trophy.
Attendants list.
Neil & Claire
John & Lorna
Nick & Ronnie
Vic Sylvia & Tracy
Andy & Sue
Sue Nigel Katie & Thomas
Sue & Jeremy
Vic & Elaine
Kevin & Gill
Petra, Claire & Sarah
Paul Dorothy, Martin & Vicky
Chris
Susie the dog.
A spoon record of 30 is an increase of 6 on the previous records of Osmington mills 1997 where 24 attended.
Well done to all those who made it a good one and look forward to seeing you all again next year. It's now time to speak up with your preferred venue.
The nominations are:
Sailing on The Norfolk Broads.
Devon Staying in static caravans
Rutland Water
Derbyshire
On behalf of all the spoons I am sure we all would like to wish Nick & Ronnie all the very best for their wedding day and the future and look forward to seeing some of you on the day.
All the best
Neil.