The sexual life of a camel,
Is stranger than anyone thinks,
At the height of the mating season,
It tries to bugger the sphinx.
But the sphinx's posterior orifice,
Is blocked but the sands of the Nile,
Which accounts for the hump on the camel,
And the sphinx's inscrutable smile.
CHORUS
Singing, bum-titty, bum-titty, titty-bum,
Bum-titty, bum-titty aye.
Singing bum-titty, bum-titty, titty-bum,
Bum-titty, bum-titty aye.
The sexual life of an ostrich,
Is hard to understand,
At the height of the mating season,
It buries its head in the sand,
And if another ostrich finds it,
Standing there with its ass in the air,
Does it have the urge to grind it?
Or doesn't it bloody well care.
CHORUS
In the process of civilisation,
From anthropoid ape down to man,
It is generally held that the navy,
Has buggered whatever it can.
Yet recent extensive researches,
By Darwin and Huxley and Hall,
Have conclusively proved that the hedgehog,
Cannot be buggered at all.
CHORUS
We therefore believe our conclusion,
Is incontrovertibly shown,
That comparative safety on shipboard,
Is enjoyed by the hedgehog alone.
Why haven't they done it at spithead?
As also at Oxford and Cambridge,
By shaving the spines off the tail.
CHORUS